i was wandering blogland today and something struck me. Why is it that some Dom/subs have to be on top of eachother at all times? Always knowing what the other is doing and when. That would make me insane. As D says, i am in no way a doormat. Ice wouldn't allow it. He loves my fire and mouthy attitude. Ok sure maybe not all the time, but you get my meaning. He's told me on many occassions that He has me pretty much trained just the way He wants me. Given O/our living circumstances, nightly beatings and rounds of sexually charged bloodcurdling screams is not an option right now. Do i miss the chances for that, well duh. And i know He does as well, there are just some things that have to be set aside for family duty. i dont know if these other submissive have children or not, if so i would dearly love to know how they manage to kneel, take a beating and rough sex and still play soccermom on Tuesdays. Cause i sure as hell dont have the time. Between work, the kids and 2 weddings, i just dont have the time or the energy. God knows i miss that side of me and Ice.

i miss that evil gleam that gets in His eyes when He's in full Master mode. Even thinking of it makes me shiver. i get glimpses of it now and then. The odd hard smack to my backside, and not nessecarily during sex. The tweak of a nipple when He knows no one is looking. i know He misses it too. So we do what we can when we can and know that there will come a time, after the wedding when we can look into getting back into it more fully. Until that time, i'm just going to love Him as a Man, my Man. For all His quirks and moods, of which there are many. LOL

So in some ways i tip my hat to you subbies who have that kind of time on your hands. For the rest of us, we have lives to lead and children to raise and families to deal with. i'm woman enough to admit my jealousy. Or perhaps its all show for blogland. Who can say. Something to think about.

Until later.

Always His angel[IW]