-Dusting off an angel's wings-

It's funny how life works out sometimes. With the ending of my marriage there was such a sense of bitterness and loss. Not just of the relationship, but of things that made me who i am. my self esteem and worth took such a nosedive i didnt think i would recover. It is something i still struggle with each and every day. Of course being called a worthless whore doesnt help, but all one can do is fight past it and try to move on. It isnt an easy thing to recover from though. Taking a beating to your self esteem and worth is painful and will make you feel like you aren't worth it.

It's always those closest to you who know how to hurt you the most and in the right places. Can bring up those old insecurites and childhood tramas that pitch you back. It has been an uphill battle to win that back. It will be a long process but at least i have a beginning.

i met Someone recently. Someone who has turned my world upside down. i had made a promise to myself on the end of my marriage. NO MORE MEN. Boy was that premature. Sometimes life has a different plan for you whether you like it or not. i think i like this new plan.

He is everything i could ever hope to find. Caring, attentive.. i have never felt more wanted or needed. He makes me laugh all the time. Just the thought of Him makes me smile and turn so giddy others around me have made mention of it. The sound of His voice both sets every nerve to tingling with awareness and soothes me better then any cup of tea. And we know how i love my tea. i can only begin to imagine what His touch will do to me. He makes me feel wanted and desired. Something i think i will struggle with for awhile. Not being one to consider myself beautiful or overtly desirable.

He makes me feel like a submissive again. No one has ever made me crave to be at Their feet. To need it with an intensity that leaves me aching and burning. To want to be perfect for Him, or as close as one can come anyways. To be that classy lady on His arm. The wanton, shameless slut in His bed. The utterly devoted slave knelt at His feet.

He wants me to ache for Him. i already do. Its a physical need i cant fight and dont want to. Being apart from Him is hell on earth. Hearing His voice in my ear is my heaven. His chuckle does things to my insides that i didnt think were possible. i plan to strive to be everything He needs or could ever want. Already He has made me better, i do things for Him i have never done before, things i would never have considered and flat out refused to do before. *dreamy sigh*

There will be daily postings on my blog now. He wants to know what is on my mind and i am more then happy to give Him what He wants.

Until next time,

Armour's devoted brat

Posted at 8:43 PM

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